Selfies Suck

This photo is one of my many attempts at a selfie. My inability to take them has become a joke between myself and some of my friends. I just can’t take myself seriously enough to do it. I never think about the lighting, I don’t know how to hold the phone right, I feel stupid posing. And please, don’t get me wrong, I am not criticising those who are good at it. I’m jealous of those people! I would love to be able to take a super hot photo of myself, who wouldn’t? But I must question this need to appear beautiful, especially unrealistically so, and why it does matter so much.

I read recently that selfies are empowering to women as they take the power away from the male gaze and allow women control over how they are perceived. While theoretically I agree and champion this idea, I feel that if we (women) in our selfies, or self-portraits (that sounds fancier and I therefore prefer it) are still pandering to the male gaze, or to a preconceived notion of beauty, then is it really any better than a man having control of the picture? I’m actually asking, I don’t know.

Now this photo is not a very good example of beauty with no filters, as I think we can all agree that I look like crap in it. But then, maybe someone out there finds the look of fear and confusion on my pasty sleep-deprived face a total turn-on. WHO KNOWS?

My point is, although I do not fit into typical beauty standards in this picture, who is to say that I am not beautiful? You could say that my face in this picture very beautifully captures how much I hate selfies, and how awkward I am at taking photos of myself.

Or you could say that the very fact that I am expressing and have captured a human experience that most of us know intimately, that of trying to express ourselves, make our mark, record our very existence, is beautiful in itself.

Or you could say I’m full of crap and that I look like shit.

That is your prerogative.  For after all it is all subjective, and there are no right answers, no ‘right’ way to look, think or feel.

And that, to me, is beautiful.